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郭德纲50个损人金句,笑一笑减压!

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  1.哥们儿,麻烦让下,你挡着我手机信号了。
  2.我要让全世界都知道我很低调。
  3.哎呦,您这么忙还亲自上厕所啊?
  4.你的愚蠢总是那么富有创造力。
  5.来到这世上,我就没打算活着回去!
  6.孩子,人傻不能复生啊!
  7.自从得了神经病,整个人都精神多了。
  8.不能因为我俩有过节,你就把我当节过。
  9.我这人不懂音乐,所以时而不靠谱,时而不着调。
  10.唉~这人要是一没正形,连头痛都是偏的。
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  11.咳!该说的说,不该说的小声说。
  12.我多想一不小心就与你白头偕老啊。
  13.如果你容不下我,说明不是你的心胸太狭窄,就是我的人格太伟大。
  14.你说你吧,没文凭还学人家长得丑, 不聪明还学人家秃头顶!
  15.你瞧你吧,看背影急煞千军万马,转过头吓退百万雄狮。
  16.那天我心血来潮,用你的照片作电脑桌面,我靠,居然中电脑病毒了!
  17.给我一张你的靓照呗,回家辟邪用。
  18.作为失败的典型,你真的太成功了!
  19.我这心碎的,捧出来跟饺子馅儿似的。
  20.你的话,我连标点符号都不信。
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  21.别紧张,我又不是什么好人。
  22.生活就像超级女声,走到最后的都是纯爷们儿。
  23.本人已死有事烧纸,小事招魂大事挖坟;实在想我下来陪我,如遇上线纯属尸变!
  24.你一出门:千山鸟飞绝,万径人踪灭。
  25.你的牙如同天上的繁星, 色泽鲜艳,相距甚远。
  26.天下之大,大不过你缺的那块心眼。
  27.好久没有人把牛皮吹得这么清新脱俗了。
  28.你给我滚,马不停蹄地滚!
  29.别逼我,否则我伟大起来,一发不可收拾。
  30.你居然敢说自己纯洁?瞧你那眼神就透着浑浊。
d7d4a0f805e54a08908a8c001c5bbdbd_th.jpeg   
  31.年轻算什么?谁没年轻过!你老过吗?真是的。
  32.千万别动!你左脑全是水,右脑全是面粉,不动便罢了,一动全是浆糊。
  33.上班的心情比上坟还沉重。
  34.别说我高傲,我只是拒绝与禽兽打交道。
  35.脑袋空不要紧,关键不要进水。
  36.保护自己,关爱他人,请不要半夜出来吓人。
  37.我心眼小但不缺;我脾气好但不是没有。
  38.人和猪的区别就在于:猪一直是猪,而人有时候却不是人。
  39.人家有的是背景,而我有的只是背影。
  40.见到我之后你就会发现:原来帅也可以这么具体啊!
ffadb45efb1b425ab170a30c44851aaf_th.jpeg   
  41.出问题多从自己身上找原因, 别TM一便秘就怪地球没有引力。
  42.完了,你也不理我了,我成狗不理了。
  43.理想很丰满,现实很骨感。
  44.没事儿晒晒太阳吧,没准儿晒黑了就没人说你是白痴了。
  45.别和我谈理想,戒了。
  46.不吃得饱饱的,哪有力气减肥啊!
  47.低调,才是最牛B的炫耀。
  48.你要是鲜花,牛都不敢拉屎了。
  49.就算是一坨屎也会有遇到屎壳郎的那天。所以大可不必为你是一坨屎而感到沮丧。
  50.执子之手,方知子丑,泪流满面,子不走我走。

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iIE46p1wSg  等待验证会员  发表于 2017-4-17 01:08:33 | 显示全部楼层

lean meat

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vWskkDz0m  等待验证会员  发表于 2017-5-3 10:51:44 | 显示全部楼层

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vWskkDz0m  等待验证会员  发表于 2017-5-4 00:39:02 | 显示全部楼层

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kQvOy4Bmv  等待验证会员  发表于 2017-5-5 11:02:30 | 显示全部楼层

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vWskkDz0m  等待验证会员  发表于 2017-5-7 02:24:43 | 显示全部楼层

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vWskkDz0m  等待验证会员  发表于 2017-5-8 09:51:11 | 显示全部楼层

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张文  等待验证会员  发表于 2017-5-8 18:32:51 | 显示全部楼层

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张文  等待验证会员  发表于 2017-5-10 16:28:43 | 显示全部楼层

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vWskkDz0m  等待验证会员  发表于 2017-5-15 23:25:02 | 显示全部楼层

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